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I had a sudden and powerful urge to listen to the Concrete Blonde cover of "Beware of Darkness" as I was driving home from dropping my children off at their last camp of the summer, so I did, and thought upon the line "beware of silence" as silence is such a blessing in the right situation -- darkness as well, come to that. It is all symbols, I suppose, and I am used to the slipperiness of such things, but often I am too busy to feel both, and today I was not. So to beware of silence, the way I freeze up and cannot talk (here for example) even when I wish to, and at the same time to remember what a glory it is to not have to speak when I do not want to -- I suppose really, it is all about choice, and thus the subject line.
Not that choice always helps; I am deep into the realm of sleep deprivation again and it is somewhat my own fault, always reading just a little more until it is after 11, and somewhat the rhythm of my body, which has decided that 5:30 is an excellent time to wake up and contemplate the transportation of snakes and other matters I am arguably responsible for in the near future. It is not the terrible serotonin-depleted darkest hour before dawn that I sometimes get at 4am, so it is experientially much to be preferred, but it is much harder to get back to sleep at 5:30 in any successful fashion -- and beginning next week night impossible, as I will be back on the school hours. So I must convince myself to go to sleep at a more reasonable time, possibly by giving up on the bed at 5:30 and going to have breakfast and such (horrifying thought) so that my body insists on sleeping by 10? Or otherwise learns its lesson and stays asleep until 6:30?
I am continuing to read piles of Joan Aiken, which I will report upon here in due course, and many other things as well. I am also strongly considering registering for Fogcon now so that the weekend is blocked off and cannot be used for Girl Scout purposes; I really need to stretch a little more.
Not that choice always helps; I am deep into the realm of sleep deprivation again and it is somewhat my own fault, always reading just a little more until it is after 11, and somewhat the rhythm of my body, which has decided that 5:30 is an excellent time to wake up and contemplate the transportation of snakes and other matters I am arguably responsible for in the near future. It is not the terrible serotonin-depleted darkest hour before dawn that I sometimes get at 4am, so it is experientially much to be preferred, but it is much harder to get back to sleep at 5:30 in any successful fashion -- and beginning next week night impossible, as I will be back on the school hours. So I must convince myself to go to sleep at a more reasonable time, possibly by giving up on the bed at 5:30 and going to have breakfast and such (horrifying thought) so that my body insists on sleeping by 10? Or otherwise learns its lesson and stays asleep until 6:30?
I am continuing to read piles of Joan Aiken, which I will report upon here in due course, and many other things as well. I am also strongly considering registering for Fogcon now so that the weekend is blocked off and cannot be used for Girl Scout purposes; I really need to stretch a little more.
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Date: 2019-08-09 03:59 am (UTC)From:Sympathy on the sleep deprivation, and good luck resolving it one way or another!
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:55 am (UTC)From:Sounds like a good plan to me.
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Date: 2019-08-09 02:52 pm (UTC)From: