it always ends up eating its own tail which seems rather uncomfortable

I keep trying to write and not being able to make the words work, which is perhaps not too much of a surprise as I woke up extremely early today, so I think rather than continuing to beat my head against that particular wall I will simply go in another direction -- to wit, look, here I am, vacation is over and I am enjoying being back in my usual routine, albeit with modifications. I have high hopes of actually making time for personal projects this year; one of my methods is to tackle the lingering to-do list items that carry over week to week without ever being addressed, as I think the guilt/shame I tend to feel about not dealing with them interferes with my ability to create. Thus I have made a few phone calls and set up an appointment and am generally feeling productive is a little more sleepy than would be ideal. I have also had two sensible meals rather than my usual 1/2 sensible meal, and intend to carry this on throughout the week. The sleepy -- well, I woke at 6 when our spouse was getting ready to go to work, and it was not enough sleep, but having an extra hour in the morning to lie in bed reading Slack and then get up and take a leisurely shower and dress and *then* have coffee, all before I woke up my children and began getting them ready -- that was marvelous, so clearly the solution is to go to bed much earlier tonight so that I can get up early again tomorrow without paying the price in sluggishness after lunch.

Some things I would like to do in this first part of 2018: go to the ocean by myself (I never have), enjoy the rainy weather while it lasts (possibly by walking in it), attend a local reading-focused sf convention (also by myself, I think, so I am able to interact rather than parent), join a local in-person book club (not planned but an invitation came my way from an online acquaintance whose words I admire greatly, so I am going to try it out), find a rhythm for reading/writing on Dreamwidth (so it is not long long breaks and then 380 posts to catch up on), and figure out exactly which of our perennial writing projects we wish to focus upon and then, indeed, focus upon them. Or it, but I cannot imagine just doing one thing at a time.

Potential new projects: The Year's Best Fantasy reviewed, in order, with Opinions about the evolution of the genre and memories of childhood reading & understanding of same; Fanfic recs (since I am reading A Lot of fanfic just now, and I am finding some things I adore and want to share); attempts at fanfic writing, since why not?; possibly some sort of music of the week post to share the things I am excited about on Spotify; possibly ditto poetry since if I am sharing it I will read more of it and reading poetry fills my well.

Definite projects: reading for The 2019 Tournament of Books, which I have done the last two years and really, really enjoyed. I pick up and try every book on the shortlist unless I have a very definite reason not to, and I love going into these books entirely uninformed, just starting on the first page and reading without any expectations. Both years thus far there have been a number (5-7) that I didn't finish, and some I am not thrilled with, but there are always a few that absolutely amaze me. In 2017 those were Sudden Death by Alvaro Enrigue and Version Control by Dexter Palmer; in 2018 it was Samantha Schweblin's Fever Dream and Elif Batuman's The Idiot. I have not really begun on the list this year, but I am sure there will be one or two books which delight me, and doubtless I will post about it all here.

There is so much more we would like to do, but that is a good beginning of thinking about it.