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expectation, reality, celebration
Oct. 24th, 2018 01:19 pmOur body's natal day has duly come and gone with a minimal amount of PTSD and sufficient amounts of celebration that it marked the day. Now that it is gone I feel like I can celebrate for myself, rather than in some performative fashion tied to minimising the amount of past emotion, so I treated myself to a maple pecan coffee this morning before I got my hair cut, and on the weekend there will be cake and our spouse has made noises about presents. It is good to be past the watershed of it and into the part where I feel like I can indulge myself in extra little pleasures without having to make a smiling face for acquaintances -- they are very kind acquaintances and I would rather have their good wishes than not, but there is an effort to it; I suppose it is something about the expectation that I am enjoying the day, I do not wish to disappoint them. A little ridiculous but very human, I suppose.
Today there is more of the Girl Scouts and the usual tasks around getting my children fed and into bed at somewhat reasonable times, and then tomorrow I am driving perhaps 45 minutes to see my friend C, who wishes to buy me lunch for my birthday. I am very much looking forward to it; our conversations are almost always brisk and engaging, we talk about our reading and what we're each watching or listening to, and he is the sort of person who is very interested even in things he does not also read or watch, so I can tell him about Terrace House or Margery Sharp or whatever has currently struck my fancy and he has many questions and remembers it for the next time. I think for food we will have Italian, as there is a very good place we tried the last time I visited that I would like to go back to, but my appetite is somewhat fickle, so we shall see. C. loans me piles of manga, which I read as I have time and then return, so as I write this now I have several stacks beside me on the bed waiting for my attention, in the hopes that I can return more to him than he loans out.
Now I will go eat food so that I am fueled for the 13 energetic/distracted/sulking/dismayed/tired/excited girls this afternoon.
Today there is more of the Girl Scouts and the usual tasks around getting my children fed and into bed at somewhat reasonable times, and then tomorrow I am driving perhaps 45 minutes to see my friend C, who wishes to buy me lunch for my birthday. I am very much looking forward to it; our conversations are almost always brisk and engaging, we talk about our reading and what we're each watching or listening to, and he is the sort of person who is very interested even in things he does not also read or watch, so I can tell him about Terrace House or Margery Sharp or whatever has currently struck my fancy and he has many questions and remembers it for the next time. I think for food we will have Italian, as there is a very good place we tried the last time I visited that I would like to go back to, but my appetite is somewhat fickle, so we shall see. C. loans me piles of manga, which I read as I have time and then return, so as I write this now I have several stacks beside me on the bed waiting for my attention, in the hopes that I can return more to him than he loans out.
Now I will go eat food so that I am fueled for the 13 energetic/distracted/sulking/dismayed/tired/excited girls this afternoon.
