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countdown to camping continues
Oct. 11th, 2018 01:31 pmI have slept, dear readers gentle and not, and I even co-led the Girl Scout meeting before I did the sleeping, which I am very proud of. It went surprisingly well, perhaps our best meeting of the year thus far; the girls are happiest when they have a lot of things to do with their hands and not so much talking and discussing and decision-making. I am percolating on how to take this knowledge forward through the rest of the year, but first -- the great camping!
This morning I did the first of my large shopping trips, buying various necessities from Target (clothes and snacks) and a local outdoors store (flashlights, insulated mugs, tablecloths). At Target I also bought some of the small & very inexpensive fall-scented candles they've had for the last month; right now I am burning 'leaf peeping' on my small table as I alternate between laptop and organising/pre-packing tasks. I am saying it every time I post, I think, but I am so looking forward to this trip being done so I may spend some time with myself, embracing the symbolic autumn while I wait for the external weather to catch up -- it does not usually do so here until late in October or sometimes as long as mid-November. But the candles and soap and such are nice harbingers.
I have been realising over the last few months -- but particularly this week -- that for me to have emotional responses takes some time, and thus when I am as busy as I have been just now, I do not really feel much of anything at all. I think this is why spending some time on Tuesday steeped in emotion was so sweet; it had just been a long time since I had felt things, especially so intensely. So that, too, is part of this wanting I have -- to spend time with myself, to have my emotions and actually feel them rather than registering them and moving quickly on, to engage with the ways that autumn evokes emotions and memories for me, to consider some of the books that tie into all of this, to move around the space of it and explore it and then doubtless write here about it, although it might end up so personal I journal for myself, which is all right too.
I am glad that the system is fluid enough that I may have these moments of time, and anticipate a longer one; much of the time I write as though I am the only one here, or at least the only one doing anything, but that is not the reality of it; we are all swamped with getting through the tasks right now, and afterwards others have their own desires -- more exercise (or at least stretching), looking to the garden, baking pumpkin muffins and making parsnip-chestnut soup, watching various anime, reading more, and so on and so forth. And of those things I have varying levels of interest in various of them, so some of them will doubtless appear here.
(Also I am reminded that next week is the school fall carnival, which I enjoy, and also smol daughter's birthday party, which will require some planning and shopping as well, so it is not as though it will be all lying about exploring my own feelings. But there will be some of that barring catastrophe, I am determined.)
This morning I did the first of my large shopping trips, buying various necessities from Target (clothes and snacks) and a local outdoors store (flashlights, insulated mugs, tablecloths). At Target I also bought some of the small & very inexpensive fall-scented candles they've had for the last month; right now I am burning 'leaf peeping' on my small table as I alternate between laptop and organising/pre-packing tasks. I am saying it every time I post, I think, but I am so looking forward to this trip being done so I may spend some time with myself, embracing the symbolic autumn while I wait for the external weather to catch up -- it does not usually do so here until late in October or sometimes as long as mid-November. But the candles and soap and such are nice harbingers.
I have been realising over the last few months -- but particularly this week -- that for me to have emotional responses takes some time, and thus when I am as busy as I have been just now, I do not really feel much of anything at all. I think this is why spending some time on Tuesday steeped in emotion was so sweet; it had just been a long time since I had felt things, especially so intensely. So that, too, is part of this wanting I have -- to spend time with myself, to have my emotions and actually feel them rather than registering them and moving quickly on, to engage with the ways that autumn evokes emotions and memories for me, to consider some of the books that tie into all of this, to move around the space of it and explore it and then doubtless write here about it, although it might end up so personal I journal for myself, which is all right too.
I am glad that the system is fluid enough that I may have these moments of time, and anticipate a longer one; much of the time I write as though I am the only one here, or at least the only one doing anything, but that is not the reality of it; we are all swamped with getting through the tasks right now, and afterwards others have their own desires -- more exercise (or at least stretching), looking to the garden, baking pumpkin muffins and making parsnip-chestnut soup, watching various anime, reading more, and so on and so forth. And of those things I have varying levels of interest in various of them, so some of them will doubtless appear here.
(Also I am reminded that next week is the school fall carnival, which I enjoy, and also smol daughter's birthday party, which will require some planning and shopping as well, so it is not as though it will be all lying about exploring my own feelings. But there will be some of that barring catastrophe, I am determined.)
